Lessons my 3-year-old-son taught me

Lessons my 3 year old son taught me --- Part 1 ---- Written on 22nd December 2011


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu


Sometime in June 2011:

One morning, as I woke-up my 3 year old son


Me: Good Morning Pranav....Wakeup, let's get ready for school.

My 3 year old son: Amma, why did you take away my toy?

Me: I didn't...It's still sitting on the sofa, just like the way you kept it last night.

My 3 year old son: No, you took it away...Why did you do that?

Me: I didn't...You must have dreamt it.


My son continued his-version-of-the-story and kept refusing to get ready....As his tantrum continued, I carried him into the bathroom and was trying to get him to brush his teeth & have his morning bath....

  
My 3 year old son: I won't brush my teeth....I don't want to take a bath.

Me: Pranav, the toy is sitting on the sofa...Look, there it is.

My 3 year old son: But you took it away...I saw you taking it away...

Me: I did not...You may have dreamt it....Now stop fussing and let's get ready for school....{Thinking} How do you convince somebody who is so sure that his dream is real?

An inner voice: How many times have I told you that all of your so-called-problems are an illusion?....That you are IT....You are the one who keeps asking for proof, isn't it?

  
I was 20 minutes late for work that day and a little bit wiser.


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu




Lessons my 3 year old son taught me --- Part 2 ---- Written on 23th December 2011


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu


My son also wears a few rudhraksha beads ( 3 mukhi, 4 mukhi, 5 mukhi and 6 mukhi beads)...Initially, I had wondered if a 2 year-old could wear rudhrakshas and I was browsing the internet to find some answers....Most of the articles that I came across said that after 8 years of age, children too can wear rudhraksha....."Something" didn't seem right and I kept searching for "something" that resonated with me, that resonated within me.

There was just one post, in some group, that resonated with me....Someone had asked the group "If the atma (soul) is indeed eternal, then what difference does it make how old the "body" is?".....And I thought "That answers my question".


Sometime after Navarathri 2010:

I had just started wearing my rudhraksha bracelets......I had read somewhere that since a rudhraksha bead is very sacred, it should not touch the ground, should be reverentially kept in the pooja altar after you take it off etc.


One evening, as I was getting ready to give my then-2-and-half-year-old son his evening bath, I took off his rudhraksha mala but he held on to it and wanted to keep it on the pooja altar, by himself

Me: Pranav, don't play with the rudhraksha mala...Go & keep it in the pooja room.

But he continued waving the mala and the mala fell down....I was angry with my son, scolded him and took away the mala.

My husband: Why did you scold him? He is just a child.

Me: I told him not to play with the mala...Shouldn't he learn how 'sacred' the rudhraksha mala is and that one should not drop it on the ground?


It was winter in USA....A day or two after the above incident, one morning, as I walked into my office building, I took off my winter-gloves and my rudhraksha bracelet came off and fell onto the floor.


Me: I'm so sorry Lord Siva....It was an accident...I didn't realize that my rudhraksha bracelet was caught in my gloves.

An inner voice: When Pranav dropped his rudhraksha mala on the floor, that too was an accident...Didn't you scold him for being careless?...Who is to scold you now?...Why one rule for you and another for him?.....If his action was wrong, then you too are wrong now.


I was caught off-guard by the above thought...That incident at home, which I had almost forgotten, was being reminded by my conscious.....How do I answer my conscious?...If it was another person, I could perhaps, comeup with a few reasons.....What answer do I give myself -- my conscious, that pricks me when I am being an hypocrite?


Me: {Thinking} Ever since I started wearing rudhrakshas, it is as if I have put my conscious on "loudspeaker".....How it pricks me when I am wrong....Maybe if I stop wearing rudhrakshas, my conscious wouldn't be so loud anymore..

An inner voice: No one forced you to wear rudhrakshas....If you don't like what you are told, go on and stop wearing rudhrakshas.


At that stage of my spiritual journey, the easiest way for someone to make me to think about something, was for them to ask me not to do it......It was a stage where I had a lot of questions to ask God and no one to give me the answers.....I had often wondered how nice it would be if I could just ask my atma (soul) for guidance and it would answer back.....Now, when it seemed to point out my mistakes, should I discontinue to wear my rudhrakshas, just because my conscious tells me that I had double-standards ---when dealing with my son & when dealing with myself?

That evening, I hugged my son, a few extra times and silently thanked him and apologized to him...


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu




Lessons my 3 year old son taught me --- Part 3 ---- Written on 24th December 2011


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

Sometime in June 2011:

One Saturday afternoon, as my husband was putting our son to sleep, I was finishing up the laundry, folding the clothes etc and my thoughts were wandering....It was a phase in my spiritual journey, where I often wondered "Where are you, my Guru?"; "What is the purpose of my life?"; "Will SHE lead me to HER VIDYA?" etc.

My 3 year old son suddenly woke-up from his afternoon nap & called out to me.

My 3 year old son: Amma, come & lie down with me.

So, as I lay in bed next to my son & was patting him back to sleep.

My 3 year old son: Amma, are you God?

I was taken aback by his question......What do I tell him?... Do I tell him what I theoretically know to be true -- That yes, there is divinity within all of us?....Do I tell him that sentence that I read a few years ago, that when Lord Rama asked Hanuman "What is the relationship between the both of us?", Hanuman said something like "If you consider this outer body, then you O Rama are my master and I am your servant, if you O Rama are Paramatma, then I am a jeevaatma but if you consider per the Supreme Truth, then both you & I are ONE and the same"...What answer do I give a 3 year old?

I realized that my son was still looking at me & waiting for my answer....I thought "Let me atleast tell him what I theoretically know to be true...I don't want him to start off his spiritual journey with lies."...So I said

Me: Yes Pranav, I am God.

A few seconds later:

My 3 year old son: Amma, am I God?

And I thought "Just 3 years old and he is already asking such questions?....What answer do I give him when I myself  am seeking answers?".....But this time, it was a little easier for me to tell him what I theoretically know to be true -- that since there is divinity within all of us, he too is God....So I said

Me:
Yes Pranav. You too are God.


And a minute later, my son was fast asleep......But I wondered, "Did I answer his questions or did he answer mine?"


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu




Lessons my 3 year old son taught me ---- Part 4 ---- Written on 25th December 2011


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

One weekday morning, as we were getting ready, my son had a ton of questions to ask....I do realize that kids this age ask a lot of questions and I didn't want to discourage my son from asking questions, but this particular day, the questions came non-stop.

My 3 year old son: Why should I eat breakfast?
Me: So that you have energy to play.

My 3 year old son: Why should I wear my shoes?
Me: So that you don't hurt your feet while playing in the playground.

My 3 year old son: Why should I wear seat-belt while in the car?
Me: So that you don't get hurt if there is an accident.

My 3 year old son: Why is the sun shining?
Me: Because it's morning and the sun is awake....{Thinking} He can learn the 'scientific reason' behind it from school.

My 3 year old son: Why was it dark yesterday night?
Me: Because the sun had to go to sleep.... {Thinking} He doesn't expect me to explain the 'science' behind it, does he?


As I was driving him to his daycare {pre-school}


My 3 year old son: Why are the roads wet?
Me: Because it rained.

My 3 year old son: Why should I go to school?
Me: So that you can play with your friends

My 3 year old son: Why do you go to work?
Me: So that I can play with my friends {Thinking: This should answer his question....I don't want to go into any more specifics now}

And half a dozen more questions later:


Me: {Thinking} My God, he asks a lot of questions....Are the questions ever going to stop?

An inner voice:
He is after all, your son....How many questions do you ask God?

Me: I do ask God a lot of questions, don't I?...See, even this is a question.


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu





Lessons my 3 year old son taught me --- Part 5 --- Written on 26th December 2011:


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu


Sometime in July 2011:

One evening, as I was preparing the evening dinner, my son came to me & asked for a few chocolates..

Me:
You've already had lots of chocolate today...No more Pranav.

My 3 year old son: Please amma, just 5 more chocolates.

Me:
No Pranav...Your teeth will get spoilt...No more.


And then, he said the most sweetest thing....Translating it into English, kind of takes away the sweetness and doesn't capture the sweetness in the tone of his voice (All of these conversations between my son & I was in telugu language)


My 3 year old son: Please amma....Nuvvu naa best friend kadha? (English meaning: Are you not my best friend?).... Just 5 more chocolates....Pleaseeeee.

Well, not only did he get 5 chocolates but an extra few too because he was so sweetly polite & it just melted-my-heart....And then










I walked into the pooja room, looked at the picture of Mangadu Kamakshi Amman in my pooja altar and said in the exact same tone, that my son used...

Me: Please Lalithamba, nuvvu naa best friend kadha? (English meaning: Are you not my best friend?)....Please soon send me my Guru....Please always be with me and protect me.....Pleaseeeee

A month later, I met Guruji online during the Online Srividya class offered by Devipuram and 2 months later in October 2011, I personally met Guruji and He blessed me with the Maha Sodasi Mantra and 2 months later, I found Lalithamba HERSELF within mySELF......Pranav's strategy worked !!!


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu




Lessons my 3 year old son taught me --- Part 6 --- Written on 26th December 2011



Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

Sometime after Guruji came into my life i.e after the first online Srividya class offered by Devipuram:


One evening, as my son was finishing his evening prayers, he grabbed the Lakshmi Saligram in the pooja altar.....


Me: {Thinking} What a blessed child to hold a Saligram in his hands at such an young age....


As I watched my son looking over the Saligram, he started playing with it..


Me: {Thinking} As long as he doesn't drop it on the floor, he can do what he wants with it..


As if my son sensed my thoughts, he sat down and almost kept the Saligram on the floor...


Me: {Thinking} Didn't I read somewhere that a Saligram is very pious and it should never touch the ground?


Before I could open my mouth, to tell my son not to place it on the ground, I was reminded of "something" that I had read "somewhere".


Me: {Thinking} Didn't I read somewhere that Lord Parasurama had approached Lord Dattatreya and asked for guidance to know the SELF?....Didn't that article mention that Lord Dattatreya had taken Lord Parasurama to "a place" where a sage was meditating, standing on one foot -- his foot placed on a 'stone'.....Wasn't Lord Parasurama surprised on seeing that "stone" and question Lord Dattatreya "But I have been praying to that "stone" for ages, considering it as my God, how can that sage place his foot on it?"......Didn't Dattatreya then tell him something like "When it is all ONE, is there a difference between "that stone" and any other stone?".....Why can't I remember things properly?....Why do I have a feeling that "that stone" mentioned in that article is a Saligram?


I couldn't exactly recall the article that I had read, wasn't 100% sure if the stone mentioned in that article was a Saligram or not, didn't know what I should tell my son --- if it was ok to place it on the floor or if I should stop his childish play with the Saligram.


As I continued to ponder, unable to makeup my mind, my son placed the Lakshmi Saligram back in its place at the pooja altar and walked away....


As I type this now:

I've searched & I'm still unable to find that article that I had read....During the course of my spiritual journey, I have read, hundreds of articles and don't always remember the website/book/article that I have read....."Something" tells me, my conscious tells me that "that stone" in that article is indeed a Saligram.


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu




Lessons my 3 year old son taught me ---- Part 7 ---- Written on 28th December 2011


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu


Sometime in September 2011:


One morning, as I was feeding breakfast to my 3 year old son, he was being uncooperative and it was taking forever to get him to eat his food...It was getting late and finally I gave-in to temptation and "bribed" him.


Me: Pranav, if you finish all your food, you can have your favorite chocolates.

My 3 year old son: I want 3 chocolates.

Me: Ok. What color do you want?

My 3 year old son: I want blue, yellow & red color.


So, I took out 3 of the M&M candy {Similar to Cadbury Gems available in India] and kept it on the table, in front of him ....And then MAGIC happened....Within 5 minutes, he had finished eating ALL of his food..

  
Me: {Thinking} 3 small candies - each the size of a button and what power it has.... It was able to get him to eat within 5 minutes and I was struggling since the last 20 minutes.


An inner voice: Now do you know why siddhis are so enchanting....People are sometimes so fixated on them, that they go to any lengths to obtain siddhis, which, in comparison to the Highest Truth, is the size of a button.


Me: {Thinking} Lalithamba, please don't give me any siddhis....I don't want any distractions....All that I want, is to merge with BRAHMAN.


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu




Lessons my 3 year old son taught me --- Part 8 --- Written on 28th December 2011:


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

Sometime in September 2011:


I do my daily "deva, rishi, pitru & karunya tarpanams" in the morning, before I go to work...Initially, it took me 10 minutes when I was doing only the pitru and karunya tarpanams but after adding the deva and rishi tarpanams, it took me about 20 minutes to finish them all....20 precious minutes in the morning that was highly dependent on how soon my son finishes (eating) his breakfast.....I start the tarpanams by 7.20am, finish by 7.40am, have to drop off my son at his daycare and be at work by 8am, never mind the fact that most of the time, I had no time to eat breakfast myself and would just grab a fruit or a few bread slices with absolutely no time to even make myself a sandwich or spread butter/jam on the bread....I would tell myself  "Just sustain the body, while you work to liberate your soul".


One such morning, as my son finished his breakfast, I switched on the TV & he sat down to watch his favorite cartoon series --- 20 minutes in the morning, while I finish my tarpanams (My husband works from 7am - 4pm, so it wasn't possible for him to watch Pranav in the mornings)


Before I could start my tarpanams, my son walked into the pooja room and


My 3 year old son: Amma, let me also help you to pray.

Me: No Pranav...You go & watch TV for a while.


But he was insisting on being with me, in the pooja room....And I knew, only too well, what would happen if he was in the room with me -- He would take away the one-cent coin  from my hand -- the coin that the "pitru & karunya tarpanam members" need to "pay the boatman so that they can cross over to Light"...


Me: {Thinking} Is it wrong of me to ask him to watch TV, while I do my tarpanams?...Am I spoiling his eyes (i.e eyesight) by asking him to watch TV for 20 minutes in the morning?

An inner voice: In this lifetime, Pranav is your son, "X" is your husband, "A and B" are your parents, "C and D" are your in-laws etc....These appear as real to you now, as they did in your previous lifetimes when "Y" was your child, "X1" was your spouse, "A1 and B1" were your then-parents etc.....Are you going to choose over your "present son in this lifetime" Vs "your current/past lifetime relatives"....Both of them are as real or as false as you wish them to be.


At that time, I didn't know what to think about the above thought....So, I took Pranav away, put on another cartoon series and sat him down to watch TV as I finished my tarpanams.


Me: {Thinking} I have as much an obligation to repay my debts to the "deva, rishi, pitru & karunya tarpanams members" as I have, to be a good mother to my son.


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu



Lessons by 3 year old son taught me --- Part 9 ---- Written on 28th  December 2011:


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu


End of October 2011:

Our vacation in India was almost over & it was our last day at my parent's house in Chennai....I was eating lunch and Pranav was playing with his new toy --- a car...He had completely taken it apart.

Me: {Thinking} He might be a good mechanical engineer in future....Look how he has completely taken the car apart.


My son was pretending that the bottom portion of the car was an aarati plate and was asking my parents and me to "pray to the aarati plate"


Me: What are you doing Pranav?

My 3 year old son: I am a Rishi.


I was amused by his childish talk.


Me: Really? What kind of a Rishi are you? 

My 3 year old son: I am a Rishi of the MOTHER GODDESS.


It wasn't until a few hours later, while standing in queue at the airport, that it struck me -- "Rishi of the MOTHER GODDESS ".....My son is a Brahmarishi.


A week or two after we reached our home in USA, Pranav was adamant that he won't wear his chain containing the "Srichakra locket" (that was given to him at the Kanchipuram Kamakshi Amman temple)


An inner voice: He doesn't need it anymore....He too (like you) has outgrown it.


I took off his chain and the next morning, after his bath, I again put it over his neck....


My 3 year old son: Amma, I don't want to wear it.

Me: Don't you want HER to be with you?


He didn't want to wear it but I put it around his neck anyway......Later that day, the "circular ring" holding the "Srichakra locket" broke and the locket fell off (the Srichakra locket was fine and didn't break)


An inner voice: He doesn't need it anymore...He too has outgrown it.


During the course of my "research on Srividya", I had read about how there are various ways of initiation into Srividya --- initiation by a Guru, initiation in a dream, initiation by one's biological mother etc.....I had wondered "If only my parents were Srividya Upasakas, I could have taken initiation from them.".....I had wondered how long it would take for me to "graduate-from-the-school-of-Srividya" so that I could initiate my son, as I had read that initiation by one's biological mother is the best way of initiation.


One day, I had an urge to give deeksha to both my son and my husband....So, I chanted HER Maha Sodasi Mantra, placed my hands on their head and gave them both deeksha...I told HER "Whatever YOU want them to be, let it be so......Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu".



Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu