Srichakra drawing

I feel like sharing this wealth with all of you. Learn to draw the Srichakra. It will bring unimaginable abundance to you. It is the most easy & simple form of DEVI sadhana.

Instructions on how to draw it can be found here and here.

If for some reason, you are unable to draw it, you can still be benefitted. I give to you this drawing of Srichakra that I've personally drawn. I give it to you to bring love, abundance, joy, health and everything positive into your lives. Yes, it is perfectly safe to keep it at home. There is no need to fear anything. If at all there is something to be lost, it is the negativity, negative energy and ego in oneself  and that is a blissfull loss isn't it?

You can download it from here.

Also attached is a brief description on what a Srichakra is and some frequently-asked-questions on it. I've compiled this list from my Guruji's answers. You can download it from here.

A Clarification

A Clarification – Written on 7th December 2011:

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

 

My Dear Guruji,

Yesterday I browsed through the Devipuram website and I felt "something"....This morning I realized it and so

• BRAHMAN, why did YOU make me write all those "My conversations with HER" series? I trusted YOU BRAHMAN....I trusted mySELF. I didn't have any doubt, but today there is this thought "Why did YOU make me write all those articles and preach about "BRAHMAN Satya, Jagat Mitya", when YOU made my Guruji build the temple at Devipuram? How could YOU make me contradict my Guruji? How could I be the reason to bring a conflict to my Guruji's work? Surely, my Guruji also trusted HER & built HER the temple as SHE asked Him to. When all the GODS & GODDESS are indeed ONE, why the temple at Devipuram? I know the advaitic answer...Give me a dualistic answer. 
• Suppose you go to a restaurant and order "idly", it doesn't mean that the person sitting in the next table shouldn't order "dosa" or a person sitting down the aisle shouldn't order "vegetable fried rice". Similarly, each person, according to their spiritual level, may seek different things from ME. Hence the different deities at Devipuram.

A little while later,

BRAHMAN, the thoughts - however one wants to call it - Lalithamba, Parvathi Devi etc are very tricky. I also realized one thing. I've given up all attachments but I realized that there is just one attachment that I haven't yet let-go-of. The thought that "I'm HER mother and SHE is my daughter".....And since this too is a thought, I take it to mean that it's HER reminding me....So, 

•   Lalithamba, YOU in the form of my thoughts, made me mentally renounce all attachments.....YOU also made me think & say that "YOU are my daughter and I am YOUR mother".....And YOU know what, just like how YOU made me mentally renounce all attachments, I renounce YOU too and how do I renounce YOU? --- By making YOU go & serve my Guruji at Devipuram. Note to the playful Lalithamba: No, I did not mean that YOU have to give my Guruji "thoughts". 
• Get to work Lalithamba....YOU were the one who made Swami Vivekananda say "Arise, awake and stop not till the goal is reached"....This is YOUR wakeup call...Arise Lalithamba, and go serve my Guruji in the form of good thoughts (people) coming to Devipuram.....Let everyone find their inner Guru and YOU, within themselves and realize the ultimate Truth...Here are the reasons why this is YOUR  "catch-22" situation –

1.  This is YOUR thought....So, YOU came to me & made me think it.

2.  YOU were the one who made me think "That thing that Bhagavat Gita talks about ----- One who see action in inaction and inaction in action" .....Well Lalithamba, if this sentence was good enough for ME, isn't it good enough for YOU?

  

At YOUR feet Guruji,

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

Lessons-my-3-year-old son taught me

It's amazing how one learns when one is receptive enough or open enough to let Divine Grace flow into one's life...Here are some of such lessons that my 3 year old son taught me.

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

My conversations with HER - Part 21

My conversations with HER - Part 21 - Written on 1st December 2011:

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

Deepavali 2011:

That afternoon, I telephoned Arjunaacharya and while talking to him, I thanked him again for performing the Varahi Kola mukhi puja for my family..I was a little hesitant to mention about the revelations, as I still couldn't 100% believe what SHE told me, let alone know from where to start my-Ramayana-like-proportion-story???...Arjunaacharya, there was one thing that you said, that I clearly remember - As I was telling you about the 5 mukhi rudhraksha that Pranav was given, you said you were looking at the rudhraksha tree outside your house..After our conversations

Me: Lalithamba, does Arjunaarcharya know who I am, who YOU are telling me that I am?

SHE: He will know it, by the time you reach this point of your writings. Remember those things that you wrote but didn't email him?

Flashback on - "Those things that I wrote but didn't email him":

It was an email that I had sent to both aacharya & Arjunaacharya, introducing them to one another...Two people, who independently held the 'passwords' to my continued spiritual journey.....At the end of the email, I had typed "Arjunaacharya, both you and I are now a part of the same Guru lineage....We both have the same Guru - Guru Amritananda of Devipuram, AP....That makes us sahodara or siblings".....I felt silly writing it and I thought "I'm just an LKG-student in the school-of-Srividya and Arjunaacharya is like a PhD holder and a Guru himself...How silly it sounds for me to tell this to him".....So I deleted that paragraph.

SHE: Remember those thoughts that you've had as a child?

Flashback on - "Those thoughts I've had as a child":

As a child, I've always felt that I'm missing an elder brother...I'm not sure if my father remembers this conversation, but I do....One day I had asked my father "Why don't I have an elder brother?"....And my father told me "Me being the eldest child myself, I can understand your question...But be happy with what you've got and make sure that you take good care of your younger brother so that he doesn't miss his elder sibling"....That only partly answered my question....Years later, when my son Pranav was born I had thought "My daughter will have what I don't...She will have an elder brother."

SHE: Your Arjunaacharya is the one whom you've been missing.

That evening, my father and I were visiting the Bali Amman temple at Villivakkam, Chennai.....This is a temple that I've grownup with....Almost all major occasions - Pongal, Deepavali, Tamil New Year's day etc, as my parents & I visited our grandparent's house, we would stop-by this temple....My father and late-grandfather knew the priest at this temple and my family would sometimes sit inside the inner sanctum, as abisekham was done to HER....That evening, as my father & I stood before HER

SHE: Ask the priest the name of the Goddess

Me: But Lalithamba, I know HER name....It's Bali Amman...Why do YOU want me to ask something that I already know?

But the intuition was persistent....So,

Me: Fine, I'll ask if YOU want me to ask.

And I asked the priest

Me: What's the name of the Goddess?

The priest at the temple: SHE is called as Bali Amman and (as the priest continued talking)

Me: See Lalithamba, I told YOU.....It is Bali Amman

The priest at the temple: (As the priest finishes his talk) ....SHE is represented as a young girl.

   

Me, asking the priest: SHE is represented as a young girl?......Is this Bala Tripura Sundari??

The priest at the temple: No No....SHE is called Bali Amman....Balika, in sanskrit means a young girl and SHE is this village deity and Amman here is represented as a young girl.

Me, asking the priest: Is SHE 9 years old?

The priest at the temple: Yes...A young girl of 9 years.

  

Me: Bala Tripura Sundari - my Divya Guru.....I grew up before HER....

Me: Didn't I read somewhere -- Only someone who is chosen by DEVI gets Sri Vidya. It is said you do not choose Sri Vidya, but Sri Vidya chooses you. When you get it, when you look back, you will see how you have been guided slowly and surely to your Guru.

Silence

A few days later, my husband was back from AP & said "Since we have some extra time, let's also visit Tirupati"......So, we did.....And just like Guruji asked me to, I kept chanting the Maha Sodasi Mantra, all the time...

While standing in queue at Tirupati, my thoughts were:

Me: {Thinking} Didn't I read a story somewhere that inorder to marry Padmavathi Devi, Tirupati Balaji had taken a huge loan from Kubera and He was still repaying the interest on the loan??

  

Narayana, Why did YOU have to take such a huge loan?? Why couldn't YOU learn to "live within YOUR means"??.....What kind of  a wrong example are YOU giving people, if YOU YOURSELF couldn't conduct YOUR marriage "within YOUR means"??

So, I said "Whatever is the merit of chanting this Maha Sodasi mantra, I give it all back to YOU O BRAHMAN in the form of Tirupati Balaji......Narayana, I hope this helps YOU to repay YOUR debts soon...Who knows maybe like the Sree Padmanabha Swamy  Temple of Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, this temple too may hold some hidden treasures and it might help YOU repay YOUR loan"

Narayana must have heard me....Why??.....Because we stood in queue for 7.5 hours --- the longest ever in the history-of-our-visit-to-Tirupati.

Me: Narayana, just because I asked YOU to repay YOUR debt, are YOU going to make me stand in queue this long?? Do YOU really have THAT BIG of a loan that I have to chant the Maha Sodasi Mantra all this while??

And I continued chanting the Maha Sodasi Mantra and every few minutes would say "Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu"

And by the way, it started raining, when after 7.5 hours, we finally had HIS dharsan and came out.....I was too tired to really notice it then.

  

As I type this:

BRAHMAN, I have done what YOU asked me to do....I have written down my experiences and all that remains to be written is the journey from "(n-1)" to "n" ---- journey from me being "Lalithamba" to "YOU".....Before I do that, YOU have to keep up YOUR end-of-the-bargain...Let me give YOU a few reasons why

• Who is asking whom to do what? -- YOU can take it as 1) It's all YOUR doing or 2) Nothing is being done.
• When I am YOU, isn't merely "the thought" enough, for things to happen?
• If I am HER, then it is all HER doing, isn't it?
• When Adi Shankaracharya composed the Kanakadhara Stotram and was able to convince Sri Lakshmi to shower HER blessings on that poor woman, who had, but given Him "one small gooseberry"
• If I am Shankara or Siva indeed

Then how can YOU not do what I asked YOU to do.

What I asked YOU to do:

If I am Shankara or Siva indeed, then

• Let all the obstacles that my Guruji encountered-in-the-past-present-and-future be shattered and may His glory spread worldwide.
• As proof of my identity, let it rain down "One mukhi Nepal-variety-type-round rudhraksha beads, the size-of-which-I-saw-at-my-neighbour's-house" from that rudhraksha tree that Arjunaacharya said he was looking-at when he spoke to me on the day of Deepavali.
• If it is true that a one mukhi rudhraksha is "Sakshat Siva Swarupa" then how can it not be abundantly present on Earth, when I am here?
• If there-is-such-a-thing that I was angry with my then-past-Namboodiri-Brahmin-family over the funeral rites-of-my-then-mother Aryamba, then I forgive them all and here are the reasons why

Advaitic answer- Who is forgiving whom, over what?

Dualistic answer - The credit for this goes to Arjunaacharya of Meppad Temple,  Kerala..Why? Because he has helped me a lot in this lifetime. 

O dear BRAHMAN, won't YOU do that please?

And please ask Arjunaacharya to send me photographs of those round one-mukhi rudhrakshas.

BRAHMAN: I just did.

  

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

My conversations with HER - Part 20

My conversations with HER - Part 20 – Written on 29th November 2011:

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

My dear Guruji,

During the first week of this month, after I returned to USA, the laptop at home "crashed" and while re-formatting it, my husband said that lots of "files" were lost...I hurried to check if all of my files were still there and when I saw my folder titled "Srividya online class" I was relieved....This past weekend, "something" told me to check it again & when I did, only the folder was present....I lost all the mp3 files, all of my "notes" that I had written down {I only have the sheets that I had printed and the video-recording of the online Srividya class}....As I was about to re-download the files from Devipuram website:

You, in the form of my inner Guru said "You don't need them anymore."

(cont) Happenings in October 2011:

It took me a few hours to write the previous "My conversations with HER - Part 19" article and all of that had happened within a minute or two on that day - 24th October 2011.....It was around noon that day and my son was banging on the bedroom door....I was still "hazy" from the recent "revelations" but I had other things to do and didn't think too much about the "revelations".

{As I type this: Why didn't I think too much about it??...Because when I had rejected Lalithamba Herself and only want to practically-experience BRAHMAN, what is "Adi Shankaracharya" if not an equally false, temporary and misleading identity}

I told my father that I want to visit the Maangadu Kamakshi Amman and Kanchipuram Kamakshi Amman temples the next day & asked him to make the necessary arrangements..My husband had to go back to AndhraPradesh that evening, to re-visit the "X family member" and he wasn't able to come to these temples.

As I realized the gift that my Guruji has given me, I also realized that I had forgotten to tell Him about the "Guru Dakshina" that I thought of giving Him..So,

Me: Lalithamba, it might take me a while to email Guruji & let Him know, but meanwhile I'm telling YOU this - I give my-share-of-the-right-as-Pranav's mother to YOU...From now on, YOU are responsible for his welfare.

I won't lie, I did feel sad for-a-moment that I had just lost my son, as if I had given him up for adoption....And I thought "What Divine Parents have adopted my son, if not Siva & Parvathy Themselves.....Pranav is much better-off being Their son" and I didn't think about it thereafter. 

That afternoon as I was lying down, my mother was trying to put Pranav to sleep and I told her "Don't talk to him....Just let him fall asleep by himself".....But like any-other-grandmother, she was telling him some stories and Pranav had a hundred questions to ask her....

Me: {Thinking} I told amma not to talk to Pranav...Let her sit & answer all the questions that Pranav has to ask.

And then as-simple-as-that

SHE: Just like how you are observing the conversation between your mother and Pranav, BRAHMAN is observing the conversation that the both of us have.

   

Me: So, that's what those articles meant...Didn't I read somewhere, on some article that Parvathy Devi asks Siva to explain "something" to HER about HER Vidya....I had often wondered "Why does SHE do that?? Doesn't SHE know HER own Vidya??....Why doesn't Siva say "Why are YOU asking me this?".....Why did HE have to explain it to HER?.........It is all symbolic isn't it Lalithamba?

Silence

Me:  So, is it all representative of

        Parvathy Devi = The "doubtful-thoughts" that asks the questions and

        Siva  = The inner Guru = the "crystal-clear answers"

Silence

And I fell asleep.

The next day, we left early to go visit Maangadu amman temple.....I thanked Kamakshi amman profusely for HER blessings, chanted the Maha Sodasi mantra while doing the "Adi Pradakshinam" {Walking technique wherein you take short steps, with the heel of one foot being placed where the tips of the toes of the other foot ends} and had a perfect dharshan of HER....Before leaving the temple, I had said "Whatever is the merit of chanting this Maha Sodasi mantra, I give it all back to YOU, dear BRAHMAN in the form of Maangadu Kamakshi amman....As we left the temple, it started drizzling and "something" told me that it was Goddess Kamakshi blessing me.

The rain soon became a terrible downpour and I hoped that we would reach Kanchipuram without any delay and we did.....It wasn't raining at Kanchipuram and "something" told me that it will rain, as soon as I "give-away" the merit of chanting the Maha Sodasi mantra {at the temple}......And as I stood before HER, I said "So, this is how YOU look Lalithamba"....I didn't remember visiting this temple during my childhood and was happy to finally meet HER....The only mantra that I chanted all the time was the Maha Sodasi mantra and as I did pradakshina around HER, I came to the "Adi Shankaracharya's idol"....I walked upto Him, chanted the mantra & told Him " SHE says that I am You.....I don't remember anything at all....If indeed that is true, You have to help me Shankara"....As I left the inner sanctum, I said "Whatever is the merit of chanting this Maha Sodasi mantra, I give it all back to YOU, dear BRAHMAN in the form of Kanchipuram Kamakshi amman."...There was a bookstore inside the temple premises and I wanted to buy a portrait of Bala {Bala Tripura Sundari} and Lalithamba, as I didn't have their pictures at home...As I walked upto the bookstore, there SHE sat, my Divya Guru - Bala Tripura Sundari and right beside HER was a 3-in-1 picture of Madurai Meenakshi, Kanchipuram Kamakshi and Kasi Visalakshi and since I had visited all these temples too, I bought that 3-in-1 picture as well....The shopkeeper seemed to have a divine intuition and used to randomly tell things to people, which was confirmed as true, by his customers....He told me 2 things, which were both true...And as Pranav walked upto me, he gave Pranav a locket and blessed him....It was a locket with an engraving of Srichakra on one side and HER idol on the other...As I started the pradakshina of the outer sanctum, it started drizzling, which slowly built-up to a heavy downpour as we left Kanchipuram.

  

SHE: Now you know what Adi Shankaracharya did when he visited all those places.

Me: {Thinking} Shankara, did you re-charge the energies of those places? Did You give away the merit of chanting whatever mantras You chanted??...I don't remember reading about it...This is why You should have written down your experiences Shankara, and not leave it upto people to guess what You did...See what SHE is telling me?

SHE: Now do you know why I asked you to write down your experiences?

Silence.

  

That evening, Pranav & I visited the neighbour's house...I sat talking about rudhrakshas and other spiritual topics and my neighbour showed me a rudhraksha that he had - a one mukhi round, nepal-variety rudhraksha, the size of a big yellow lemon....I had never seen one before and I thought "What a coincidence I got to meet HER and also HIS one mukhi rudhraksha - the Saksat Siva swarupa rudraksha, all on the same day"......As we left their house, he also gave Pranav a 5 mukhi rudhraksha bead {represents Lord Shiva}...It wasn't until later that evening that it struck me,

Me: Pranav got both HER Srichakra locket and HIS rudhraksha bead all on the same day...Siva and Parvathy have indeed adopted him as Their son.

{Pranav also wears rudhrakshas, since I started wearing them last year....Why at this young age??....Because "his body" may be 2 years old when he started wearing it but isn't "his soul" eternal??....I had thought "It took me 32 years to wear one...What a blessed child is he, to wear it, when he is just 2 years old !!}

It was around dinner time & my mother asked me to feed dinner to Pranav...And I thought

Me: Lalithamba, where are YOU?... It's YOUR responsibility to feed him dinner....I have handed over the responsibility to YOU.

SHE: When you read about the Maha Sodasi mantra, what did you understand of it?

Me: Well, theoretically speaking, it means that I am YOU.

SHE: Well then, theoretically speaking, who do you think is going to feed dinner to Pranav ??

 

Me: Very clever of YOU Lalithamba...So, YOU are not going to magically appear & feed him dinner??

Silence

Me: Oh right, I forgot.....That thing that Bhagavat Gita talks about ----- One who see action in inaction and inaction in action, That's what YOU were trying to teach me, wasn't it Lalithamba?"

Silence

Little did I realize that there were more things that I had to learn, for which "this Lalitha" had to turn into "Badrakali Herself" for the next few days...Three incidents happened which led to that, which led to what is quoted as:

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." by William Congreve in The Mourning Bride of 1697.

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

My conversations with HER - Part 18

My conversations with HER - Part 18 – Written on 27th November 2011:

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu,

17th October 2011:

I hurried to meet Guruji & as I entered the room, I saw Guruji talking to someone..I realized that I maybe interrupting them, so I thought I would come back a few minutes later but Guruji asked me to come on in.....As I sat next to Guruji, I suddenly realized that I didn't know what to say.....I was so busy in praying & planning to meet Guruji that I hadn't thought about what to say to Him, when I meet Him...So, I started with the usual, I am so-and-so and I come from such-and-such a place and just spoke whatever thought came to me.....You see Guruji, I didn't ask you anything related to Srividya because you {and Siddha Guru Swaprakasananda} have already given me the answer during the online Srividya class, by saying "Don't you think the mantras have the power to guide you?".....So, after some casual conversations, I told Guruji that I had come to meet Him and to get a personal deeksha from Him...What was this personal deeksha??....I had no idea....All that I knew, was that Guruji had told someone, during the online class that "Sometime in your lifetime, it would be good if you come and take a personal deeksha from me"....That's all I knew Guruji.

Guruji: What do you want?

Me: I will take whatever you give me Guruji...

You see Guruji, I couldn't ask you for anything, not with Sri Bhaskararaya makhi literally "sitting on my shoulders" and reminding me of my 'asuddha bhakti'

{As I type this: Guruji, I told you "I came to meet you and get a personal deeksha"....That by itself was me asking you for something --- a personal deeksha.....But at that time I didn't realize it Guruji....I indeed did have "selective amnesia".. }

And as I prostrated to your feet, I was reminded of some article that I had read & also a certain topic that was discussed during the online Srividya class...I vaguely remembered that someone, while talking about the Dasa Maha Mudras, had asked about a certain mudra, which when shown to a deity/person would enable one to "take away some of the power" of the deity/person.....Guruji had said something about how even if that were to happen, He believed that one can "re-charge" oneself and in-reality one doesn't really lose any of one's powers/energy....And also, didn't I read somewhere that the Guru’s feet are worshipped or revered because all the Guru’s shakti dwells in the feet....So, as I prostrated to your feet, I made sure that I didn't touch your feet....You see Guruji, I had thought "Guruji has already given me so much...I don't want to take away any of His Shakti.".......And that is why I didn't touch your feet Guruji.


Guruji, as you gave me "a mantra" and I repeated it after you, all that I recognized was that it also contained the 15-lettered Panchadasi mantra....When you told me the name of the mantra, all I heard was the "Sodasi" part because, as you noticed, my son Pranav was constantly bothering me & interrupting our conversations.....But I had read about the Sodasi mantra & how this mantra was kept in most secret and I was overwhelmed that you gave it to me...And that is why I asked you why this mantra is kept so secret and why it is said "Give away your empire and even your head, but never reveal the mantra"....As you explained and wrote on the nearby blackboard, I listened to whatever you said.....Though at-that-time I didn't 100% understand the meaning Guruji, I didn't want to bother you & ask you to again explain it to me......So, I had told BRAHMAN " Please remember what Guruji said and explain it to me later."


Me: Guruji, I have a very bad memory and I will forget this mantra even before I leave this place.

Guruji: Write it down


So, I grabbed my purse and my notebook & wrote down the mantra as Guruji repeated it and asked me to say-it-as-I-wrote-it.

And as I sat there, being overwhelmed and feeling very guilty that I didn't bring my Guruji anything...

Guruji: Come and give me a hug..

It was so difficult for me to not cry, to hold back my tears and I thought "Guruji heard me....He knows all about me, even all of my unspoken words"


All of my unspoken words:

During the last few weeks, as I thought of my Guruji, I had an overwhelming desire to hug Him.....I had thought "Doesn't a Mother hug her child and vice-versa??.....Isn't my Guruji = HER, and if so, why can't I hug my Guruji??.....Why do they say that one should only bow to the Guru's feet?? Doesn't my Guru reside in my heart, and if so, why can't I hug my Guruji?....Doesn't Hanuman say that Lord Rama & Sita Devi always reside in His heart....Can I hug my Guruji, will He let me??.......I didn't know if it was proper to do so but those thoughts/emotions did come to me....


And as I struggled to hold-back-my-tears and hugged my Guruji

Me: Guruji, what do I give you as Guru Dakshina?

Guruji: I don't want anything


And I thought "I'm still a beggar...I have only taken from Him.....What do I give Him?...How am I ever going to repay Him??"

You see Guruji, I had forgotten to tell you what I had decided to give you as Guru Dakshina.....I didn't remember to tell you that I have decided to give you my-share-of-the-right as Pranav's mother.....Such is my memory.

Pranav seemed all too eager to share his stories with Guruji and if I remember right Guruji, I think you hugged him too...I had thought "What a blessed soul is Pranav.....It took me 33 years to stand before my Guruji and Pranav is able to do it when he is just 3 years old."

I realized that there were people waiting outside to meet Guruji & so Pranav and I left.....As we prayed to the life-sized Khadgamala GODDESSs in Devipuram, there were a few names that I recognized from the Khadgamala Stotram and when I stood before Varahi Devi, I thanked HER profusely for HER blessings........Pranav was happy to go, see, touch and sometimes shake-hands with the GODDESSs and would ask me the names of each of them & I would read out from the label...There was a staircase that I noticed and Pranav & I climbed up to go & finally stand before HER - Goddess Sahasrakshi, known to me as Lalithamba...As we did pradakshina to Lalithamba, the following thoughts came to me:

• Ask HER for a daughter. SHE will give it to you.
• No, Ashuddha bhakti.....How can I ask HER for a pebble {i.e a daughter} when SHE has just given me a diamond { i.e what-I-thought-was-the-Sodasi mantra}.....I don't want a daughter.
• Don't say that you don't want a daughter.
• Ok. I don't want to say that I don't want a daughter.......Lalithamba, what are these thoughts coming to me?? Can't I atleast pray to you silently without these commentaries going on within me?.... Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

The lady who did the kumkum archana asked us to offer kumkum to HER Srichakra and so Pranav & I did so....The only thought that came to me was {in Tamil - Sri Chakra vasiniyae namaha……Sri Chakrathil irukira kodana kodi Devigalaku namaha }whose English meaning is "My salutations to the ONE who lives in Srichakra....My salutations to the crores of Devis who live in Srichakra"

And as Pranav & I thanked HER & we were about to go downstairs, the lady casually mentioned that there was another staircase which people usually use to climb up and the one that we had used was the one to go down.....I thought "Lalithamba, even the staircase that I took to climb up {to come to YOU} is the wrong one.....I just saw a staircase & climbed it....Anyway, it brought me to YOU & that's all it matters to me."

We then went to meet Guruamma, prostrated to Her feet & seeked Her blessings too...We went to the Kamakhya temple and I remembered it from the pictures that I had seen....The 1000 lingams were indeed a sight to see and I remembered seeing it in the "Devipuram empowerment video".....Then it was back to meet Guruji again to seek His blessings again & say bye to Him....I had just one question to ask Guruji

Me: Guruji, when should I chant the mantra that you just gave me?

Guruji: Chant it all the time.

We had lunch at the canteen in Devipuram, met a few volunteers there and also paid the money for the homas done during Navarathri....It was a blessed day and while on my way back, as I started chanting the what-I-thought-was-the-Sodasi mantra, I counted the letters

Me: {Thinking} There are more than 16 letters in this mantra...How could this be Sodasi?......But if I take the 15 letter Panchadasi as just 3 letters, then the count comes to 16....Maybe this is the way "Sodasi" is counted......How do I know??...They keep these mantras so secret.... What does it matter, if this is what Guruji asked me to chant all the time, it's good enough for me....

And as I chanted it, after a while, I could smell what-seemed-like-sandalwood.....I checked the car dashboard to see if the taxi driver had an incense burning and there was none...

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

My conversations with HER - Part 17

My conversations with HER - Part 17 – Written on 24th November 2011:

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

Happenings in October 2011:

That incident on the flight, I forgot all about it as soon as we reached Chennai....There were lots of things to look forward to & I was busy with arranging all the necessary things for my mother's 60th birthday the next day.....As the puja's started, when the vedic priests chanted the mantras, I was able to recognize a few of them.....I was able to recognize the prana pratishtapana mantra, recognize the mudras {though I didn't remember their exact names} & a few other things.....And I wondered how long it must have taken the priests to memorize all of them.....I thought "The next time I have some homas done, I must remember to properly give dakshina.......How long it must have taken the priests to memorize all of those mantras.....I know because it takes me such a long time to memorize them all."

After the homas & pujas were finished, we had to leave the same afternoon to Kakinada,AP as my brother-in-law's upanayanam was the next day.....As we were boarding the Chennai – Visakhapatnam {Vizag} flight, I did my MahaGanapathy tharpanam on-flight and ended it with "Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu" and as I gazed out the window, I saw the full moon and I realized that it was Pournami that day.......As we were getting-off the flight at Vizag, as my feet touched the ground, I thought of Guruji and said "Here I am Guruji, in Vizag, closer to you, on a Pournami day.....A few more days until I personally meet you"......

I'm not sure if one has paid attention to it, but as you get off the aeroplane & enter into the Vizag airport terminal, there is a big board which says "State Bank of India - Welcome to Vizag - The City of Destiny"

And I thought "The City of Destiny?...Why would they call Vizag that??.....They must know that Guruji lives in Vizag."

It was almost midnight when we reached Kakinada and as soon as I got off the bus, it started drizzling

SHE: The forefather's on your husband's side of the family, are welcoming you.

The next day as the upanayanam ceremony was about to begin, as soon as I reached the venue, it started raining-like-crazy.....It was such a downpour that we had to move the ceremony in-doors...

SHE: This is your in-law's forefathers thanking you for liberating them.

The next few days were busy with all the wedding preparations and I made sure that I was able to spare 20 minutes-a-day to mentally do my MahaGanapathy tharpanam....During the wedding preparations, it was hard to remember all the things that were entrusted to me....I didn't have a paper/pen with me to write it all down, so I said "BRAHMAN, YOU are the only ONE I know with a perfect memory, the ONE who is awake & aware 24 hours a day.....So it's upto YOU to remember all this & remind me.".....To make a long-story short, BRAHMAN reminded me of what items to pack, to get a few items from the tailor, to set aside things to be given-away to guests & a whole lot of other things that I've forgotten now.

The wedding went on very well and as soon as it was over, I told my husband that I'll visit Anakapally that day...He said "You've been awake since 2am today...It won't be practically possible to travel that far....You can go another day".....So I had to wait another day....I told HER "It's YOUR problem how YOU do it but I want to personally meet Guruji before I leave Kakinada"

{As I type this, I wonder, why did I ask HER to do that when I've repeatedly told HER that I have nothing to ask HER??......Simple answer - I forgot that I told HER, that I won't ask HER for anything}

17th October 2011 - The end of the wait of an eternity 

I had told my husband the previous day that I will visit Devipuram the next day....I had said "This is the only day when I'm free during the mornings & I want to go to Devipuram"....There was an emergency in the family and one of the family members had to be admitted to the hospital & my husband had to be present there....I was perfectly fine going to Devipuram by myself....So, the next morning, my son & I were ready by 5.30am.....My husband said 'Why do you want to go so badly?...Can't it wait another day?....You can go some other day. I have to take "X" person to the hospital today "......I was upset and told HER "I've told YOU it's YOUR problem how YOU do it.....Do something, anything, but make it happen. I want to go today."

At around 7.30am as I was feeding breakfast to Pranav, my father-in-law walked in & said 

My father-in-law: Are you not ready yet? The taxi is waiting downstairs...Didn't you want to go to Anakapally today??....

Me: But {my husband} said that I can go some other day

My father-in-law: Really? He asked me to find a good taxi driver

Me: {Asking my husband} Did you do that?

My husband: Oh yes, I was just testing you to see if you really wanted to go to Anakapally today. We can still cancel the taxi if you don't want to go..

Me: {Thinking} Two people with a bad-sense-of-humor......SHE & my husband.....Don't they know how important this is for me?

So, I wrapped-up whatever I was doing & hurried to get ready...I forgot to take fruits, flowers etc with me and just hurried so that I would be in Devipuram by noon....The volunteer that I had spoken with, had told me that Guruji would be in Devipuram until noon that day....The taxi driver didn't know the exact route & we had to stop & ask for directions....My only thought "Reach Devipuram before noon....Meet Guruji today"....And by the way, I mentally did the MahaGanapathy tharpanam on the way to Devipuram and told Ganapathy "Please, I've come this far...Please let me meet Guruji today."

It was about 11.35am when Pranav & I reached Devipuram....I had asked the guy at the entrance shop if Guruji was still there and he said "Yes"....As I was hurrying to meet Guruji, I realized that I didn't bring him anything.....I came empty-handed.....All that wait to meet my Guru and I didn't bring him anything......

Guru Dakshina:

Sometime during Navarathri, I had thought about what to give Guruji as Guru Dakshina...While the usual - fruits, flowers, money, cloths etc seemed appropriate, it still seemed "too petty"....What do you give someone who helps you liberate your soul??....What do you give HIM who = HER ??...What can I give Guruji that would be unique, for which I don't need anyone's permission?? As I sat thinking, my thoughts were: 

Me: Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam

And I thought of my 3 year old son Pranav.

Me: They say the Mother is the one who comes first - Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam.......The only thing that I'm still holding on-to is my son Pranav....I have already given-up my husband when I chose HER in June 2011 & doesn't a girl giveup her parents when she gets married & goes to her husband's place?

I then remembered reading on that blog & watching a YouTube video of Guruji's talk at Pali Hill Shakti Yoga center in Mumbai on January 2011....While mentioning about his family, Guruji had said that he had 2 daughters and a son who, had died 10 days after he was born....So, I said

Me: Lalithamba, the only thing that I can think of giving Guruji who is YOU, is my-share-of-the-right as a mother.....My share of the 50% right that I have over my son Pranav....I can't tell YOU that I give YOU Pranav 100% because the remaining 50% of the right is with my husband and it's upto YOU to make my husband also giveup his rights...Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam right??.....I give YOU my-share-of-the-right.....From now on, Pranav is YOUR son and YOU are his Mother...As such, YOU are the Mother of all...In that case, why am I holding on to the belief that "This is my son" when clearly everything happens according to YOUR will??...Didn't I read on that website that Arjunaacharya was 2 years old when he was blessed by his grandfather and he started YOUR upasana??...Well Lalithamba, Pranav is 3 years old....He is old enough to be doing YOUR upasana...If Arjunaacharya can do it when he was 2 years old, why not Pranav??

SHE: Why not give yourself as Guru Dakshina, why Pranav?

Me: Simple answer Lalithamba, because I don't have the right to do that....What will I do if Guruji says "Come & do seva in Devipuram for a week" ??........ Will I be able to do that??....No, right?? I will have to ask my husband & need his approval before I do so....I don't want to be like Nachiketa's father (in the Kathopanishad).....Giving useless gifts  to people...Pranav is still young and can be moulded to be however YOU want him to be.

Silence

Me: Yes, that would be the appropriate Guru Dakshina....I must tell that to Guruji.

{As I type this: When I had already mentally renounced my husband, why did I think I need his permission to go & do seva in Devipuram, if Guruji were to ask me to do something like that?? ......Simple answer --- At that time, this question didn't come...}

And when I met you Guruji, I forgot to tell you that....I remembered it only when leaving Devipuram...Sorry Guruji.

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu