Revelations from MY GURU

Revelations from MY GURU

My observations, as questions arise WITHIN and answers are revealed. These are randomly asked questions and I note down the answers as they are revealed – sometimes revealed immediately, sometimes a while later.



I lay it all at YOUR feet Guruji, the feet that are WITHIN ME and the feet outside that I haven't yet had a chance to touch.

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

Srichakra drawing

I feel like sharing this wealth with all of you. Learn to draw the Srichakra. It will bring unimaginable abundance to you. It is the most easy & simple form of DEVI sadhana.

Instructions on how to draw it can be found here and here.

If for some reason, you are unable to draw it, you can still be benefitted. I give to you this drawing of Srichakra that I've personally drawn. I give it to you to bring love, abundance, joy, health and everything positive into your lives. Yes, it is perfectly safe to keep it at home. There is no need to fear anything. If at all there is something to be lost, it is the negativity, negative energy and ego in oneself  and that is a blissfull loss isn't it?

You can download it from here.

Also attached is a brief description on what a Srichakra is and some frequently-asked-questions on it. I've compiled this list from my Guruji's answers. You can download it from here.

The greatness of a Guru, the greatness of MY GURUJI

The greatness of a Guru, the greatness of MY GURUJI – Written on 14th January 2012:

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

My Dear Guruji,

Where do I begin to even start talking about YOUR glory?. How can I describe in words, what and how much YOU mean to me?

During the course of my spiritual journey, as I read about other people's spiritual experiences and the role that their Guru played in their spiritual life, I had wondered "Will my Guru and I also share the same magical spiritual chemistry? Will I be able to recognize my Guru?". I had asked God innumerable times "Where is my Guru? How much longer should I wait? ". I had read that "When the disciple is ready, the Guru will showup". I had asked HER "Am I still not ready for my Guru? What more do I need to do?" and as soon as I realized the nature of my "ashuddha bhakti", THERE YOU SHOWED UP.

Guruji, I may not have recognized YOU immediately. I may have asked HER "Please let Guru Amritananda be my Guru. Atleast he is Telugu". I may have assumed that "If my in-laws and husband have any questions, Guruji can atleast say, ‘According to our Telugu sampradaya etc etc etc.' " but I now realize that all of those assumptions and thoughts too were HER doing. I now understand "What telugu sampradaya, when it's the Parasurama Kalpasutra sampradaya that I am now a part of."

During my visit to India in October 2011, since I had forgotten to write down the Guru mantra, before I mentally performed the MahaGanapathy tharpanam I would think of YOU and say whatever I remembered of the Guru mantram -- "Something, something...........Sri Annapoornamba sahita, Sri Amritananda natha sriguru sripadukam pujayami tharpayami namaha".

SHE then said: Why do you say "Something, something"? Isn't your Guruji "everything" to you?

I had then said "Everything, everything...........Sri Annapoornamba sahita, Sri Amritananda natha sriguru sripadukam pujayami tharpayami namaha" before I mentally did the MahaGanapathy tharpanam.

During November 2011, I had told my husband that perhaps it's time for us to go back permanently to India, so that I can be closer to YOU....I had thought 

• I came that close to my Guruji and I didn't even touch HIS feet...If only I had known that it was the Maha Sodasi mantra that Guruji had given me, I would have atleast touched HIS feet....I didn't even get a chance to do that.
• You received the Maha Sodasi Mantra because you didn't touch HIS feet, because you didn't want to take away any of your Guruji's Shakti.....Not vice-versa.

And as I sat crying, my thoughts:

• Didn't you say that your Guruji resides in your heart?....You touched HIS heart, you hugged HIM....Isn't that good enough for you? 
• I want my Guruji...I want to be closer to HIM. 
• Didn't your Guruji tell you during your very 1st online Srividya class "That he was always with us and there has never been a moment when he wasn't? " 
• Oh Guruji, why did YOU tell us that?  
• Are you questioning your Guruji's words?

And that did it....That shut me up.

For the next few days, no matter how I looked at it, it would always end the same way.....My conscious telling me that YOU are with ME, to not get attached to the "physical form of my Guruji".

Guruji, it has taken a while for my state to stabilize...During November & December 2011, as I realized the gift that YOU have given me, my eyes would be filled with tears as I thought of YOU and think: 

•  Why am I crying as I think of my Guruji? Am I still failing the "practical exam" part of my sadhana?Why am I still not able to remain "neutral" ? 
• Those are not just tears. Those are tears of bliss --- The bliss of the nectar of immortality.
•  See Guruji, even my tears are named after YOU --- Amritananda.

During Thanksgiving holidays, here in the USA, as we watched the Christmas parade at a nearby theme park, when Santa Claus walked by and waved, I thought of YOU and YOUR words during the online Srividya class. YOU had described yourself as a "Safeed thadi wala from Vizag" [English meaning: White-bearded guy from Vizag] and I silently told Santa "You are not the only "safeed thadi wala" who gives gifts....There is another ONE, who is in Vizag, India, who has given me a priceless gift".

Guruji, I say this humbly, I now know the inner meaning of Siddha Guru Swaprakasananda's words [on page 45 of the 2006 July Kadambari magazine ]

"Anakapalle Gurugaru, Guruji’s Guru – an avadhoota, an adept in 42 of 64 tantras – said of Guruji in one of his speeches that for his tapas on brahma jnana, he should have been in samadhi forever – but because of Devi’s will, He came to build this temple at Devipuram".

You see Guruji, when I first read those words in July 2011, I had incorrectly thought that SHE had asked YOU to come to Earth to build HER the temple at Devipuram....I now know that SHE - Lalithamba HERSELF, willed to take the form of "YOU - my Guruji" so that the temple at Devipuram could be built and also so that YOU can be my Guru. There is ONE other such great Yogi - the great Sage Govindapada, whose 1000 year-old-samadhi was broken due to the arrival of a "young boy monk" - Adi Shankaracharya.

Guruji, in the last one year, during my "research" on Srividya, I may have turned to HER & HER VIDYA to seek a daughter because I had felt that my life was "incomplete" without a daughter and I realized that SHE is the "daughter" that I have been missing.

In the past one year, I have come across various articles, websites, forumns, people etc. I have seen various kinds of reaction about HER VIDYA. People have told me all sorts of things -- on how only very few people are worthy of HER VIDYA, to how USA is not a land that is suitable for HER sadhanas etc. I am now grateful for that experience. Why??....Because I now see YOUR greatness, how absolutely perfect YOU are. At a phase when I was so angry with HER for all HER rules, there SHE came --- in YOUR form, leading me right into HER arms. Two great Brahmarishis - my Guruji and my Siddha Guru Swaprakasananda, who 100% believed in the power of HER mantras to give them away and along came I, with my "selective amnesia" to prove that you can be given the Maha Sodasi Mantra itself but unless SHE wills it, one will not know what one has.

During the last few days, I had wondered:

• I don't even know the Guru mantra by-heart. 
• Why do you need it when your Guru is in your heart? 
• I didn't get a chance to do any seva to my Guruji....I have not served HIM at all. 
• Didn't you describe your Guruji as BRAHMAN ITSELF ?. In your tarpanams, didn't you ask "ANY forms of BRAHMAN, ALL forms of BRAHMAN in the 14 worlds" to merge into LIGHT ? Have you not been offering all the merits of your sadhanas to BRAHMAN ?. Did you not chant the Maha Sodasi Mantra and give deeksha "not just to MOTHER EARTH but the entire COSMOS"?. What other way do you want to serve your Guruji?

It has taken me 2 months to "slowly become steady". To see YOU in ME --- as MY inner Guru.

During the early phase of my spiritual journey I had wondered "How could I be such a fool to come back to Earth? Why did I ever take re-birth again?". I would tell myself "Never come back again. Nothing on Earth is worth it". Guruji, I say this humbly, I say this in a "dual mode", I now know the reason why I'm here. I followed YOU Guruji. Wherever is the Guru, there is the disciple and YOU know what Guruji, Earth was once again worth it. Until ONE realizes that the real eternal Guru is WITHIN and then everything else just withers away.

Ironically enough, my spiritual journey started with a quest for "moksha" ( freedom from birth and death ) and it ended with a realization that there is no such thing as moksha. When ONE realizes the SELF, ONE also realizes that moksha itself is an illusion. No wonder it is said that for one to be initiated properly into Srividya/Tantra, it must be one's last birth on Earth. Even this sentence is symbolic.

In the early phase of my spiritual journey I had wondered "Me being a western educated, jeans-pant wearing woman, will I be able to experience the magical bond that a Guru and disciple share?". I now know the answer. "What's that?" YOU might ask. Well Guruji, to simply put it, "chemistry" has just been renamed as the "bond between a Guru and a disciple".

My savior, my BEST FRIEND, my Guru Sri Amritananda.

Guruji, I am blessed to serve YOU like this. The meaning of the song says it all.

At YOUR feet Guruji, the feet that are WITHIN ME and the feet outside that I haven’t yet had the chance to touch.

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

A Clarification

A Clarification – Written on 7th December 2011:

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

 

My Dear Guruji,

Yesterday I browsed through the Devipuram website and I felt "something"....This morning I realized it and so

• BRAHMAN, why did YOU make me write all those "My conversations with HER" series? I trusted YOU BRAHMAN....I trusted mySELF. I didn't have any doubt, but today there is this thought "Why did YOU make me write all those articles and preach about "BRAHMAN Satya, Jagat Mitya", when YOU made my Guruji build the temple at Devipuram? How could YOU make me contradict my Guruji? How could I be the reason to bring a conflict to my Guruji's work? Surely, my Guruji also trusted HER & built HER the temple as SHE asked Him to. When all the GODS & GODDESS are indeed ONE, why the temple at Devipuram? I know the advaitic answer...Give me a dualistic answer. 
• Suppose you go to a restaurant and order "idly", it doesn't mean that the person sitting in the next table shouldn't order "dosa" or a person sitting down the aisle shouldn't order "vegetable fried rice". Similarly, each person, according to their spiritual level, may seek different things from ME. Hence the different deities at Devipuram.

A little while later,

BRAHMAN, the thoughts - however one wants to call it - Lalithamba, Parvathi Devi etc are very tricky. I also realized one thing. I've given up all attachments but I realized that there is just one attachment that I haven't yet let-go-of. The thought that "I'm HER mother and SHE is my daughter".....And since this too is a thought, I take it to mean that it's HER reminding me....So, 

•   Lalithamba, YOU in the form of my thoughts, made me mentally renounce all attachments.....YOU also made me think & say that "YOU are my daughter and I am YOUR mother".....And YOU know what, just like how YOU made me mentally renounce all attachments, I renounce YOU too and how do I renounce YOU? --- By making YOU go & serve my Guruji at Devipuram. Note to the playful Lalithamba: No, I did not mean that YOU have to give my Guruji "thoughts". 
• Get to work Lalithamba....YOU were the one who made Swami Vivekananda say "Arise, awake and stop not till the goal is reached"....This is YOUR wakeup call...Arise Lalithamba, and go serve my Guruji in the form of good thoughts (people) coming to Devipuram.....Let everyone find their inner Guru and YOU, within themselves and realize the ultimate Truth...Here are the reasons why this is YOUR  "catch-22" situation –

1.  This is YOUR thought....So, YOU came to me & made me think it.

2.  YOU were the one who made me think "That thing that Bhagavat Gita talks about ----- One who see action in inaction and inaction in action" .....Well Lalithamba, if this sentence was good enough for ME, isn't it good enough for YOU?

  

At YOUR feet Guruji,

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

Lessons-my-3-year-old son taught me

It's amazing how one learns when one is receptive enough or open enough to let Divine Grace flow into one's life...Here are some of such lessons that my 3 year old son taught me.

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

Conclusion

Conclusion – Written on 2nd February 2012


Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

It wasn't until end of December 2011 that it fully struck me.....

So, Lalitha Tripura Sundari = THAT all pervading consciousness = BRAHMAN

I choose to call THAT all pervading consciousness as BRAHMAN........When I say Lalithamba, I automatically think of HER form and when I say/think of BRAHMAN, my mind is blank.....And in reality, there really isn't a difference between the two, isn't it?

In the last few months, as I contemplate these revelations, there are a few things that stand out:

1. I personally met Guruji and He blessed me with the Maha Sodasi mantra
2. I emailed Arjunaarcharya and asked him "Is the Meppad Sampradaya  anyway related to Adi Shankaracharya?". Arjunaacharya's response - Yes
3. The "inner chatter" has subsided.....The silence within is deeply felt.
4. As questions arise, answers are revealed ---- Sometimes immediately, sometimes in a week or two or three

There is also a strong inner urge to share these writings with the world, to "make-public" these writings....As I watch my thoughts:

• BRAHMAN, why do YOU want me to share these writings with everyone? I have no desire to end up as "another picture on the wall" or "another idol in a temple".
• When the very purpose of your birth is to complete your work and talk about advaita, how are you going to do it, if not by sharing these writings?
• BRAHMAN, why didn't YOU let Adi Shankaracharya complete the work? When Adi Shankara can break-free-of-the-rules of society to perform the last rites of His mother, why couldn't He also not preach to women??.....Take it however YOU want it to be --- YOU have failed to convince me/ YOU have failed to convince YOURSELF/ I have failed to convince mySELF.

  

After almost a week or two later, as-simple-as-that

  

• When you were pregnant, why did you choose a lady gynecologist?
• Because given a choice, I was comfortable with a lady doctor.
• When you, a so-called 21st century, western-educated woman chose a lady doctor, how do you expect women of the-then society to accept the preachings of a sanyasi, especially to questions relating to women praying during their monthly periods? 

Silence

• Adi Shankara may not have specifically addressed women because in His role as a sanyasin, there were certain limitations. You as a Grihasta, will be able to do it...All along Adi Shankara did talk about BRAHMAN, didn't He?......Weren't women automatically included in IT? 
• Does it mean that I will have to "re-do" it all? I don't even know Sanskrit....How do YOU expect me to comment on His works?
• Language is just a means-to-an-end and not the end by itself...You are not here to "re-do" anything....The journey continues where you left-off.

Silence

It took almost a week for it to strike me

• BRAHMAN, if YOU really wanted, YOU could have made me choose a guy doctor as my gynecologist, couldn't YOU?

Silence

Initially I shared these writings with some of my immediate family members….Why? Because it was a "test" for mySELF......To see if IT can handle the questions that might comeup...My husband, though he knew my spiritual journey in-brief was initially upset/angry....He had asked me

He:  What kind of a woman are you to give up your husband and son? Even if I don't take you giving me up seriously, how can you do that to Pranav?

My response:

I may have mentally renounced attachments to my husband and son, but SHE has given them both back to me -- intact, as HER prasadam [ i.e purified by association with HER]....In the past, I didn't really look at them as 'forms of BRAHMAN' and now I do......And I am now practically following that thing that Bhagavat Gita talks about : One who sees inaction in action, and action in inaction, is intelligent among wo/men, and s/he is in the transcendental position, although engaged in all sorts of activities. 

A few days later, as I still hesitate to share these writings, my thoughts:

 

• BRAHAMN, do YOU know what YOU are asking me to do? It's similar to YOU asking me to jump out of an airplane without a parachute, with the sole belief that YOU will protect me.
• Is your belief strong enough for you to do that?
• Wrong question BRAHMAN.....The correct question YOU should ask is "Have I given you enough belief for you to do that?"......Why do YOU continue to put the blame on me?.....Can I do anything if it is not YOUR WILL?
• When you can correct yourSELF, isn't this good enough for you?

Silence

  

• If your Guruji had hesitated, would He have offered the online Srividya class?

Silence

• If your Guruji had hesitated, would you have received the Maha Sodasi mantra?

Silence

• Have you still not learnt to fully trust yourSELF?
• If I still haven't learnt to do so, isn't that also because of YOU BRAHMAN? When the Kena Upanishads talk about how even a blade of grass is not able to move without YOUR WILL, how can I do anything, if it isn't YOUR WILL?
• When you can answer your own questions, can you not answer other's question?

Silence

   

• Remember that question that you had asked?

Flashback on that question that I had asked [ My conversations with HER - Part 22]

How do YOU expect me to trust YOU?....How can I believe that YOU won't cause obstacles for me?

• During early November 2011, did you not chant the Maha Sodasi Mantra on a rudhraksha mala and give deeksha "not just to MOTHER EARTH but the entire COSMOS"?
• Yes
• According to your initial assumption, does it not mean that the entire cosmos, after receiving the deeksha is at the (n-1)th stage ---- just 1 step away from merging into their SELF ?

Silence

• How will the people know that they are at the (n-1)th stage if you don't share these writings?
• Why can't YOU tell them YOURSELF?....Why can't YOU prick YOURSELF --- the people's consciousness?
• Before the online Srividya class was introduced, how many times did I bring the Panchadasi mantra into your life?....Why didn't you chant it?
• Because I was told that it was supposed to come from a Guru.
• Won't people still think the same way?....Won't they still be in ignorance and refuse to follow their conscious because they don't have the correct information? Because you hesitate to tell them that the entire COSMOS has indeed received the Maha Sodasi mantra deeksha?

Silence

• Don't you think the mantras work?
• Ofcourse I do....If not, can I observe these thoughts in me?....Even HDTV is not such crystal-clear.
• When you know that the mantras have the power to guide you, when you are personally experiencing IT, when you have given the Maha Sodasi mantra deeksha to the entire COSMOS, why do you hesitate?

 Silence

 Several hours later,

• BRAHMAN, why did YOU say that the entire cosmos is at the (n-1)th stage?....When it is all YOU, isn't all of it at the "n" th stage?
• When you know that to be the case, why do you hesitate to share the writings? Who are you afraid of, when you just said that it is all BRAHMAN?

Silence

• Okay BRAHMAN...It is all YOUR doing anyway....I'll share these writings but before that YOU have to tell me that YOU love me......I don't want the usual advaitic answer - "Who is telling whom when both the questioner and the responder are the same?"....YOU are the expert in finding loopholes isn't it??.....Find a loophole & tell me that YOU love me.....I love YOU BRAHMAN......I said it, now it's YOUR turn.....Won't YOU say it too?
• Why not?....When I = YOU = Unconditional love = BRAHMAN

  

To sum-up my spiritual journey, since I don't know any songs about BRAHMAN per-se,  I turn to Sage Agastiar and his Tamil song Sri Chakra Raja Simhasaneswari about Lalithamba......The meaning of the song says it all.

Strange indeed is HER WILL.

And the irony??.....Well, I'm now one among those people who say "It is all HER WILL".....I had to question "HER WILL" inorder to fully realize IT but yes, now I'm officially THE ONE who says IT.

At Your feet Guruji,  

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

"Giving-something-back-to-the-society" project

“Giving-something-back-to-the-society” project ---- Written on 10th December 2011:

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

My Dear Guruji,

I'm reminded that I have left out this item, in my writings....

Guruji, when I met YOU on 17th October 2011 and mentioned about this giving-something-back-to-the-society project,

Me: All that is missing now is Kubera and maybe once that happens, this project can begin.

Guruji: When one gets started on the project, all good things automatically follows.

  

Giving-something-back-to-the-society project:

Few years ago [I dug up my diary and it was actually on 28th Jan 2006], a thought came to me that "If time and money" were not a constraint [ie I had unlimited time and unlimited money], what would I do?.... I had written in a diary, a number of things beginning with materialistic things and ended up with giving-something-back-to-the-society....I said, well,  EVEN IF I had unlimited time & money, I still need a group of experts who know Vaastu & temple architecture to guide me.....And I told God, if this is your WILL, that this "giving-something-back-to-the-society project" should happen, you need to send me Lakshmi Devi/Kubera and also Viswakarma !!.....Even few months ago [February - March 2011], when my husband casually & jokingly reminded me of my "giving-something-back-to-the-society project", I said to myself, I have not yet met the 'initial conditions' ie time and money, let alone Viswakarma....If it is God's wish, maybe we would win the lottery & have money [read 'Lakshmi/Kubera'] but what about Viswakarma?? Is Viswakarma going to come out of thin air???

Well, BRAHMAN,

1. YOU brought Viswakarma into my life on 28th July 2011 in the form of Sri K.P Umapathy Aacharya   {Mentioned in "My conversations with HER - Part 10" of the series}
2. YOU brought HER - Lalithamba, into my life in the form of Sri Vidya - HER Vidya on 7th August 2011 {My Lakshmi Devi} {Mentioned in "My conversations with HER - 2" of the series}
3. And YOU revealed YOURSELF as ME on 31st October 2011 { My Kubera ---- Is there a greater wealth than one's own SELF?}

Sometime in June 2011:

One of the homas that Arjunaacharya {at the Meppad Temple } had recommended was the Sharabeswar homa....As I was 'researching' about what that homa meant, one of the websites that I came across was this site and I happened to read this pdf document .....It took me almost a week to finish reading the whole document and

  

Me: SHE told Dr Maneesh about the same thing that I had in mind.....It sounds almost like my giving-something-back-to-the-society project

The project:

This "random thought" came to me one day as I was reading some "Amar Chitra Katha" storybook.....I vaguely recall the book to be Amar Chitra Katha - Stories from Mahabharatha.....Page 1 of the storybook had a picture of a Yagna sthala and a few sages performing some yagna....So I had thought "Maybe one day, when I have all the time and money in the world, I can build a similar Yagna sthala.....A place where homas are done everyday to benefit people and mankind.....And who knows, maybe this Kali Yuga may not be so bad after all.....Not if such regular homas are done everyday"........

And I would day-dream, adding more details as time went by......I would imagine how the place would look like ------ a huge rectangular corridor which surrounds a pond-like structure in the middle, something similar to the Madurai Meenakshi Amman temple tank {at Madurai, India}....The pond would have

• Sky-blue colour bottom, something similiar to the modern swimming pools,
• Be filled with lotus flowers
• And in the middle of it, would be a little gopuram with a big 3D Srichakra

There would be a total of 108 homa kundams in the corridor and the corridor height would be very tall-enough to let the smoke out of the homa kundam.....No drawings or paintings on the corridor ceilings as they may get stained by the smoke...The outer side of the corridors will have various perennials plants, trees and flowers...Something like how Amar Chitra Katha describes all those hermitages of the sages...The place would be something like heaven on earth.....And ofcourse, there will be rudhraksha bead wall hangings, something like this ,  this and this on the corridors.....All of the 21 mukhis of rudhrakshas

There would also be a residence place for all the priests/pundits to stay and maybe a small vedic-school where 'vedic pundits' are trained...

And if the area is big enough, maybe also a Kalyana Mandapam {Marriage Hall}

October 2011 - As I stood in queue at Tirupathi:

Someone in the queue ahead of us was eating some raw peanuts and dropping the shells on the floor....I told him once "Don't drop it on the floor...Put it in the dustbin"...He nodded his head, a few minutes later, continued what he was doing.

Me: Lalithamba, why did YOU give him that thought?..Couldn't YOU have made him put it in the dustbin?....Look how dirty the whole queue area is - people dropping their tea cups, peanut shells etc...What makes one think that they can dirty HIS place [Tirupathi Balaji's place], stand in queue for a few hours, pray to HIM & HE will give people whatever they ask of HIM...

And as I looked to the other side, I saw a pond, surrounded by green vegetation and I was reminded of my giving-something-back-to-the-society project....I thought "Will the Yagna sthala also be dirty like this??...Why aren't Indians more responsible towards their environment??...Take most of NRIs....All that they have to do is, step into India and they resume their old behavior of dirtying their surroundings....The same people who, when in USA, Singapore etc take the trouble to properly 'trash' items, just throw it around in the streets in India."

Me: Lalithamba, if YOU are not going to do anything to make Indians be more responsible towards their surroundings, why do YOU want me to start the Yagna sthala project?.....Yes, the homas, pujas etc will help people, but is that all that there is??....Doesn't the outer environment matter at all?

SHE: What would you do if you were ME?

Me: Why do YOU want to know?.....As if it matters what I think....It's all YOUR doing anyway, isn't it?

SHE: Remember that sentence that you told your aacharya?

Flashback on - "that sentence that I told aacharya":

 ......but for YOU = HER, that is like being in hand with the creator to make a better world, to anonymously change the life of many people......I don't mean to contribute to your ego/mind but given that there are only a handful of enlightened people who are THERE, isn't it like 'you' being on HER side to help HER help humanity? Aren't YOU = HER on the same team?.....

SHE: Now that you have received the Maha Sodasi Mantra and YOU = ME, tell me what you would do.

Me: Fine...If it was me, if I am YOU, then I would make people earn-the-right to have such a place in India...Right now, according to me, they don't...Let me tell YOU what I think....YOU then do what YOU want

• YOU preach advaita right??...Then what difference does it make to YOU where this place is?....If this place is in India or abroad?
• If anything, some of the vedic people that I've come across, have this huge ego that India is such-a-punya-boomi and the rest of the world, compared to India, is a bad place to be.....If YOU are really an expert in advaita, how are YOU going to change this mentality?....What does a MOTHER do if HER child misbehaves??...What do I do if my 3 year old son misbehaves??.....I take away his toy and give it back to him only if he corrects his behavior.
• Lalithamba, even if all of these are my 'human/biased' thoughts, even if YOU were to tell me that, I have only 2 main things to point out to YOU.......Let's assume that this Yagna Sthala is built in Chennai, India, like the way YOU told Dr. Maneesh and Narasimha Rao of Vedic wisdom yahoo group , will YOU be able to overcome 2 main obstacles 1) In allowing ALL people --- irrespective of their caste, religion, belief or non-belief in God, to come & participate in the homas?....2) YOU are a woman, right Lalithamba??....Will YOU be able to allow women to come & participate in the homas irrespective of their monthly periods??.....Is India evolved enough to let that happen??.....I have a doubt Lalithamba....YOU call YOURSELF the MOTHER of all, Srichakra "houses" 64 crores of Devis, right??...... So, in a month, at any given time, atleast one of YOUR Devis must be having HER monthly periods, right??....So, how do people know when-to-pray-to-which-Devi??.....What if people pray to one of YOUR DEVIS when SHE is having HER monthly period??......Will SHE say "I refuse to answer your prayers now, as the timing is not correct?".....And if this rule doesn't apply to YOUR DEVIS, why do YOU let it happen to mortal-women?.....Could it have happened that way if YOU didn't want it to happen?....Atleast outside India, the rules are not this strict.....People - the very same Indians, in USA, would think twice before they dare say such a thing to an American woman......Atleast, when in USA, they might fear that they might be sued for "racial or gender discrimination"......Didn't aacharya mention something about some NRI contacting him recently about starting  some project related to "vedic practices"??.....Well, put that NRI in-touch with PVR Narasimha Rao, tell them about the change-in-venue and get the project started....
• If I am YOU, then I would start this project in USA....I would have P.V.R Narasimha Rao of the "Vedic wisdom yahoo group" head this project.....He's already sincerely following what YOU asked him to do...He has started the Homam movement   & has got a few thousands of people regularly do it in their homes....So, it's upto YOU to re-appear before him and his Guru Dr. Maneesh and tell them that "there-has-been-a-change-of-venue"....YOU really want to preach advaita??.....Get the project started in USA.....Maybe at a later stage, this project can happen in India too....Even if YOU were to tell me that USA is not-such-a-punya-boomi, let me ask YOU this --- What better place to start this project, but at the very place that is not-such-a-punya-boomi??
• These are just my thoughts Lalithamba.....Do what YOU want....

I was then reminded of all those questions that I had asked HER {My conversations with HER - Part 22 }....So

Me:  Lalithamba, how many more of YOUR mistakes do YOU want me to point out?...Who is YOUR boss Lalithamba??...Who do YOU report to??...I have a list-of-complaints-against-YOU......BRAHMAN, are YOU HER boss??...Just wait till I find YOU BRAHMAN..

Silence

And I continued chanting the Maha Sodasi mantra {and giving away the merit of chanting it}, so that I could find BRAHMAN & get some answers !!


After the incident on the return flight on 31st October 2011:

• BRAHMAN, if YOU alone are real, if everything else is just an illusion, then why do YOU want me to start that giving-something-back-to-the-society project??....Isn't that too unreal??
• Didn't you benefit from all those homas that you had done??...Did you not immediately feel the difference?

Once I came back to USA, I did contact P.V.R Narasimha Rao & tell him about the-change-in-venue and there is no response from him....So, maybe these were "just thoughts" that I should have been "just-watching" and not "respond to"...

Guruji, I had this "overwhelming instinct" to write down my experiences....And hence these writings....The only thing that I was seeking in this lifetime is the "Highest Truth" and I've realized IT.....I've also realized that one can do all the preaching that one wants but it's upto the recipient on how s/he takes it---- upto HER on the kind of thoughts SHE gives a person.....Guruji, I really don't know anything at all......Everything that is said in the Bhavani Ashtakam applies to me too....

I know YOU Guruji.....I know that YOU are in me, as my inner Guru.....That's all I know....And for me, that's good enough...

So, with YOUR permission, I go back to remain anonymous.

At YOUR feet Guruji, 

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu

*** Update:  “Giving-something-back-to-the-society” project ---- Written on 3rd  January 2012:

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu


My Dear Guruji,

On 31st December 2011, as simple-as-that, a thought came to me:

·   What do you think Dr. Pillai's San Diego Pillai retreat center is doing, if not the very thing that you said?....The project has already begun in USA...Daily homas are being done at the Pillai retreat center.

Guruji, I've also noticed a few changes in Dr. Pillai's messages....He has now asked for 'daily Siddha Blessing' ritual to be done at the retreat center "in order to bring in great light and wisdom for the planet"......Somewhere on his website, He said that in recent meditations, Goddess Angali Amman revealed to Him that SHE will awaken & live again with HER full power...


Guruji, "something" tells me, my conscious tells me that the Golden Age will begin in 2012....IT tells me "Didn't you ask all the Siddhas to merge into HER?.....Didn't you ask HER to awaken from HER slumber?"
 

Sometime during early November 2011:

One day, I had an urge to chant the Maha Sodasi mantra and I chanted one round of it, using my rudhraksha mala....On finishing the chant, I placed my hands on the ground and gave deeksha to "not just to MOTHER EARTH but the entire COSMOS" and said "Whatever is the merit obtained by chanting the Maha Sodasi mantra on a rudhraksha mala, I give it all back to YOU BRAHMAN.....May the entire COSMOS be benefitted".


Upon completion of the chant, my thoughts:

·   What were you doing?

·   I chanted the Maha Sodasi mantra and gave away whatever merit is obtained on chanting the mantra on a rudhraksha mala...Didn't I read in Devi Bhagavatham, that doing japam on a rudhraksha mala is a few lakh or crore times extra punya compared to doing japam without using a rudhraksha mala?....So I gave away all the merit.

·   You, by chanting the Maha Sodasi Mantra may have gained a few lakh or crore times punya....But if you had remained in “silence”, when you are IT, then you are at "infinity"....Which one do you think is greater? ---- Giving away a few lakh or crore times punya??  Or being at "infinity" times punya?

Silence

 After a few minutes,

·   BRAHMAN, couldn't YOU have told me this before I started chanting?....Why did YOU wait until I finished chanting to tell me this? It is all YOUR fault.

·   You are the one who keeps asking for "practical experience" isn't it?

·   Only because YOU make me ask it....Stop putting the blame on me and start taking responsibility for YOUR actions...Could I have done it if YOU didn't want me to?

Silence

After a while,

·   BRAHMAN, if I don't chant the Maha Sodasi Mantra, I might forget the mantra.

·   When the very purpose of the mantra is to make you forget that you are "not separate from IT", then the mantra is working, isn't it? When you are BRAHMAN, all that you need to remember is THAT. There is nothing else to remember.

And I stopped chanting the Maha Sodasi Mantra after that....I chant it occasionally when there is an inner urge to chant it, to give deeksha to someone...If not, I don't.


And now, IT tells me, that the entire COSMOS has benefitted from that deeksha...A golden age will indeed be born in 2012....The consciousness of mankind "will undergo a change", a change for the good.


At Your feet Guruji,

Om Tat Sat Brahmaarpanamastu